{ k a r m a }

Where was I when you figured out
All those little doubts were just too much to conquer
Where was I in that moment
When the curtain fell, and you knew that it was over
Was I smilin' like a fool over mornin' coffee
Did you know it was a lie
When you said you loved me?

I could've been two wheels up
I could've been hard-heeled strong
This could've been my last tear
You could've been so long gone
I wouldn't be lost like this
I wouldn't be breaking down
I would've been over you by now

What's it like to hold all the cards
To pull all the strings
and convince me that I'm dancing
Maybe you don't know what love really is
Cause, baby, if you did, you wouldn't let it go so easy
Instead of wasting all that time

I could've been two wheels up
I could've been hard-heeled strong
This could've been my last tear
You could've been so long gone
I wouldn't be lost like this
I wouldn't be breaking down
I would've been over you by now

I could've met someone new
I could've been over you
I could've been two wheels up
I could've been hard-heeled strong
This could've been my last tear
You could've been so long gone
I wouldn't be lost like this
I wouldn't be breaking down
I would've been over you by now


Jana Kramer | Over You By Now

Lets talk about stuff

Lets talk about the fact I have insomnia for days. Always.

Hence writing this at 4am.

Lets talk about.....(insert song lyrics here)

Lets talk about the fact that I have 6 dates this week. You read that right, S I X.

I'm feeling a good blog post coming...

Orrrrr that my 7 year old niece says the funniest things.

The other day we were at my cousins for dinner and the convo went like this:

Alli, "do they have spray butter?"

Me, "no, probably not,"

My Mom," here's some regular butter."

Alli, "how do I use regular butter, just like spread it on??"

I was dying. Clearly, they don't eat "regular" butter often ;)

Lets talk about how I can't get my butt to the gym in the last 3 weeks.

Orrrr lets not.

Lets talk about the fact that I now have a tv in my room.

I'm never leaving my bed. Like, ever.

Orrrrrr that I've decided to wear a head wrapish thing every third Friday when Courtney admitted for chemo. Soon she will lose her hair. And It will be heartbreaking. But lets be honest, she will be the cutest chemo patient there (umm but really). We gotta rock the wraps and stay positive!

                              

We can do hard things. 

Oh yes we can. 

xoxo

Joy in the Journey.

Seven years ago, the unknown was placed before me. I anxiously and excitedly packed my things for college and headed to Rexburg, Idaho. All I knew was college was for me. It screamed adventure, hot single men and independence (and independence means the world to me).

I was so brave.

Or so I thought.

I checked into my first college apartment and began to unpack my things. One by one, I began to meet my roommates. And one by one, that fearlessness of mine began to turn and run the other direction. Finally when I met the fifth and last roommate, I lost it. That courage of mine withered away and I was convinced this college scene was not for me after all. I cried hysterically to my mom and begged her to let me go home with her. That experience allowed me to quickly realize that life never goes the way you think it will. And since then, I have learned just that. 

These past seven years (more like past two), have taught me to "Never Say Never" because every time I say, "I will never do that" given time, I usually find myself doing exactly what I said I wouldn't. 

Examples?

"I will NEVER not use my college degree"

I worked at Nordstrom for almost 3 years before teaching.

"I will NEVER live in Provo, Utah"

Guess where I live? Two Years strong and I still love it. 

"I will NEVER marry a Utah boy."

So far, some of them have been the most appealing. 

Catch my drift?

So this has led me to wonder: have I been finding joy in this journey that has had a way different course than I could ever expect? In moments of stress and disappointment, am I dwelling on the negative or finding the positive? 

I wish I could say 100% without doubt, that I focus on the positive. But I can't. Right now, I'm focusing on all the things I can't change, rather than focusing on the things I CAN control and the things that DO make me happy. Right now, I am choosing to dwell on perfection rather than progression. I let the silliest things stress me out. 

Starting Monday (because that is the only day possible to start anything) I am going to be that courageous 18 year old girl who was ready to grab life by the horns. I am going to be that person I know I can be. I am going to focus on the things I can control and let go of the things I can't. I am not going to stress over the silly, insignificant things. I am going to laugh more. Compliment more. Listen more. Because progression in the little things is more important than perfection in all things. 

YOLO.

Little Letters

Dear Spring Break,

Please don't end. Like, ever. 

Dear Justin Timberlake,

You've officially are the most repeated artist in my iTunes library.
"Mirrors" is one of those songs I can't (and refuse) to stop listening to. Props.

Dear Self,

Get motivated. Now.

Dear Budget,

Please find that "money tree" that everyone talks about. I'm still looking for it.

Dear Boys,

I. Don't. Get. You. 

I am one bad date away from buy a cat and calling it a day. 

Is it me? Or is it you? I'm going to say you, because I'm pretty awesome. 

Dear Provo,

I'm sucked in. Help.

Dear Tinder,

I went on my first date. Check.

Dear Stacie,

Thanks for continually dragging my butt to the gym.

Dear Running Shoes,

I promise I will give you some TLC. Starting Monday :)

Dear Room,

Clean yourself. Thanks.

Dear Elder Scottie Johnson,

You come back in 32 days. I can hardly wait.

Dear Self (Again),

Congratulations on blogging. It only took you three point five months. 

{The Welcoming Crew Awaits}

.